


Story Time

by Marie_Tomas



Series: Bedtime [9]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Communication, Conversations in the Impala (Supernatural), Cuddling & Snuggling, Drunk Dean Winchester, Drunk Sam Winchester, Drunken Confessions, Established Relationship, Feelings, Jealous Sam Winchester, Love Confessions, M/M, POV Dean Winchester, Possessive Sam Winchester, Protective Dean Winchester, Referenced Top Dean/Bottom Sam, Reminiscing, Romantic Fluff, Sleeping in the Impala (Supernatural), Sleepy Cuddles, Switching
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-14 03:07:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29163966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marie_Tomas/pseuds/Marie_Tomas
Summary: After a night of drinking, Sam and Dean end up cuddling in the back seat of the Impala, where Sam asks Dean to tell him a story, just like when they were kids.Dean decides to use this ‘story time’ as an opportunity to share a few of his thoughts and feelings with Sam about the development of their relationship since their ‘bedtime’ thing got started.
Relationships: Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester
Series: Bedtime [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/219962
Comments: 18
Kudos: 107





	Story Time

**Author's Note:**

> This was always going to be the final instalment in the Bedtime series, and I’ve had this chapter planned out for a long time. 
> 
> Even though Sam and Dean’s story in canon is now complete, I still felt like I wanted to post something to conclude the Bedtime series, and I decided that the boys cuddling in the Impala was a fitting way to do that.
> 
> A little while ago, I received a few requests to write some of the events of this series from Dean’s perspective, to show what he was thinking from the time when he and Sam started their bedtime thing, and hopefully this chapter provides a little more insight into Dean’s thoughts and feelings during the events of this Bedtime series. 
> 
> The series still works without this chapter, but hopefully it will add a little extra to it. :)

Dean couldn't help letting out a sigh of contentment as he got comfortable on the back seat of the Impala. Tonight, he'd given in to his brother's puppy dog eyes and allowed Sam to sleep in the front seat, while he attempted to get to sleep in the back.

He looked over in the direction of the front seat with what he knew was an expression that his sober self would consider to be way too sappy. He might have been a little drunk after a night of drinking at a local bar with Sam, but deep down, he knew that this weird sense of…happiness wasn't just a result of his alcohol intake.

It had been a _good_ few months for the two of them. Sure, they'd had their fair share of long and tiring hunts, and long days and nights on the road as they travelled from one small town to the next, along with a load of research (on Sam's part, anyway), and maybe they hadn't had as much time for their 'bedtime' thing as they would have liked, where they asked for double beds in their motel rooms and indulged in all their usual 'touchy-feely' stuff, and okay, Dean might have felt a little embarrassed a few weeks ago about being all vulnerable with Sam during their 'big brother time', and embarrassed about the fact that he'd secretly liked it so much, having Sam take care of him, but he'd got over that a little now.

Anyway, it was awesome, just getting to be with Sam, with the two of them sharing affection-and more-whenever they got the chance, often having to get a little creative with their 'bedtime' locations when hunting took up a lot of their time.

And with each day, each week, each month that went by, Dean had yet more confirmation that Sam was with him, right by his side; he had more reassurance that Sammy wasn't going to leave; that he wanted this just as much as Dean did; that they were in this together.

It was all that Dean had ever wanted. As long as he was with Sam, he was good.

He turned his head so that his face was pressed up close to the back seat and he smiled to himself. It had been an awesome night tonight, the two of them drinking together at a bar, celebrating the end of another successful hunt, with Sam glaring at anyone who dared to throw flirtatious looks in Dean's direction, and Dean getting a weird kind of thrill out of Sam getting all possessive, the way he always did.

They didn't go out to bars as much now, not since their 'we time' had officially got started and they'd made a commitment to each other, and they liked to spend their 'couple time' together in the privacy of their motel rooms, but it was fun sometimes, to go out and drink a couple beers, especially when they were letting off steam after a hunt.

After that, they'd drunkenly staggered back towards their motel, the two of them laughing as Sam practically had to hold Dean up, helping him to walk in his drunken state, and Dean had just let go of his inhibitions about public displays of affection for a little while, and he'd enjoyed walking with his arms around Sam.

They had a motel room booked for the night, but the moment they'd stumbled into the motel parking lot, the two of them looking over at Baby, parked a few feet away from them, Sam had somehow got the 'genius' idea that the two of them should sleep in the Impala tonight, and Dean, being just as drunk as Sam, if not more, had laughed along with his brother for a little while before he'd ended up agreeing with him.

And so they'd ended up here, in a motel parking lot instead of a motel room, with Dean trying to get to sleep in the back seat of the Impala, while Sam was curled up in the front seat.

And yeah, maybe there wasn't much space to sleep in the car, and maybe they'd have been a little more comfortable in a motel room bed, but right now, Dean couldn't bring himself to complain; not when he was with Sam and Baby, his two favourite things in the world.

Dean had just closed his eyes when he heard a noise that sounded a lot like Sam sighing and then shifting around in the front seat, apparently still wide awake. It sounded like he was restless, or like he was struggling to get comfortable.

Dean opened his eyes a little and looked in the direction of the front seat. Sam was sitting up now, looking right at Dean. He had that intense look on his face that let Dean know that he wanted something, but he also looked like he was nervous that Dean was going to mock him for whatever it was he wanted.

"Dean?" he asked him after a few more moments of awkward, intense staring. "C-can you…can you just,"-he used his hands to gesture at himself, and then at Dean- "like when we were kids?"

Dean frowned in confusion for a couple moments, trying to work out what Sam was asking, but then Sam blushed as he looked at Dean and then nodded his head in the general direction of the back seat, and Dean got it. Sam didn't want to sleep separately tonight. He wanted Dean to hold him on the back seat of the Impala, just like they used to do when they were kids, when Dean had done anything he could to offer Sammy warmth and comfort and protection during the long, cold nights on the road when Dad had been driving.

Dean felt a smirk creep to his face. He hadn't realised that Sam remembered it so well, or that he seemed to miss it. "You want your big brother to hold ya, huh?" he asked Sam with a raised eyebrow.

"Dean!" Sam snapped at him as he started to blush again, before he ran a hand awkwardly through his hair.

In other circumstances, Dean might have mocked Sam a little more, but Sam did look pretty nervous about asking to be held, and pretty adorable, too, although Dean would never say that out loud, and Dean just didn't have it in him to mock him too much for it. Anyway, he had plenty of fond memories of his own of falling asleep in the back seat of the Impala with Sammy in his arms, and if Sam wanted to recreate those moments as an adult, then who was Dean to deny his brother?

"Okay, Sammy," Dean agreed with a shrug and a quick nod of his head, trying to keep his tone of voice light, casual this time, so that Sam wouldn't get too embarrassed again. It was the way he always acted when he was trying to get Sam to agree to 'nap time'.

Sam watched Dean hesitantly for a few more moments, as though trying to work out whether he really was being serious.

"Come here, Sammy," Dean told him in a gentle but firm tone of voice as he opened his arms to him, inviting him to join him.

Luckily, this was all the reassurance that Sam needed. With a smug-looking smile at the promise of more affection, Sam started to climb over the front seat, moving towards Dean.

His actions were nowhere near graceful. At first, he almost ended up falling right on top of Dean, and then Dean ended up getting elbowed in the gut a couple times as Sam tried to arrange himself on top of Dean in the limited space available to the two of them.

The fact that the two of them were still drunk however made the whole thing seem hilarious, and they ended up looking at each other and laughing for a few moments before Dean reached out to pull Sam closer to him.

"Hey," Dean said to Sam in a flirtatious tone of voice the moment Sam was pressed up against his chest. It was the kind of tone he used to use all the time, back when he'd encountered hot women at bars and clubs and he'd been looking to hook up, although now he was saying it in a more joking way, still feeling the effects of the alcohol and trying to lighten the mood a little after Sam had looked kind of nervous a couple minutes ago. He even threw in a playful wink and a smirk for good measure.

"Hey," Sam responded with a smirk of his own, his tone of voice equally flirtatious-apparently, he was just as affected by the alcohol as Dean was-and he sounded kind of amused, too.

Dean felt a little tingly on hearing that tone of voice from Sam. It was a reminder that even though Sam was the sweeter and more sensitive one of the two of them, he could still turn on the charm and the seductive facial expressions, when he really wanted to.

Not that either of them did much of the whole flirting thing anymore; not with other people, anyway.

Sam looked up at Dean, trying to imitate Dean's smirk and wink from a few moments ago, and then the two of them were laughing all over again.

After they'd stopped laughing and they'd settled down, it took a little while longer for the two of them to find a position that was anywhere near comfortable-this had definitely been much easier, when they were kids-and even after they'd got a little more comfortable, their new sleeping position wasn't exactly ideal; neither of them was able to stretch out fully, and they were sitting up more than they were lying down, and Dean had to keep hold of Sam to make sure that he didn't fall right off the seat and take Dean with him, but for Dean, this was perfect.

They hadn't done the whole cuddling-in-the-Impala thing since they'd started their 'bedtime routine', and Dean figured that it was kind of fitting, that they'd ended up here tonight, after a challenging couple of months.

His Baby and his baby, he thought to himself with another smirk. What more could he want?

He didn't know if he would say something like that out loud to Sam, but he was sure that Sam would blush like a teenager with a crush if he ever did. Even the thought of it was making Dean laugh again, while Sam watched him a little suspiciously, like he'd already worked out that Dean was laughing at some sort of private joke that he wasn't in on.

Dean tried to give Sam an affectionate squeeze to make up for it, wrapping his arms more firmly around Sam as he held him close. It felt good, to hold Sam again, to feel the comfortable, familiar weight of Sam on top of him, to be close enough to breathe in the scent of Sam's shampoo.

Sam seemed to agree that this was good, because his expression became serious and intense again as he wrapped his arms around Dean. He put his head on Dean's chest, right above his heart, and closed his eyes, taking deep breaths, like he was trying to savour the moment.

"God, _Dean_ ," Sam whispered against Dean's chest as he held him even tighter.

The way he said it, with a slight tremble to his voice, let Dean know just how much Sam had missed this affection over the past couple months. It seemed like a long time, since the two of them had just been able to take their time and hold each other in their shared beds without having to worry about staying up late to do research, or rushing off to their next hunt.

Dean couldn't help feeling a little guilty, on realising just how much Sam had missed this. He should have picked up on this sooner; should have worked out that Sam hadn't been dealing with the limited affection and the single beds in some of their recent motel rooms as well as he'd thought. No doubt he'd been working himself up to asking Dean for more affection for a little while-probably for the past couple of weeks, or since they'd started to have less time for all of this-and his alcohol intake tonight had finally pushed him to ask for it.

Dean told himself that he needed to work things like this out sooner, be a better partner, husband…whatever role he wanted to give himself in this thing they had between them.

They'd never really put an official label on the connection they shared; sure, what they had now was nowhere near platonic, and they spent most nights sleeping pressed up against each other in bed; and they sometimes shared public displays of affection when they were at bars or diners or restaurants, mainly to get the message across to other people that they were unavailable, and Dean always insisted that he was only doing it to indulge in Sam's need for touchy-feely crap, but really, it wasn't so bad. And okay, they always did things to mark various anniversaries, like when Dean had bought a heart-shaped pastry for Sam on their last 'anniversary', and Sam had looked so happy, even though Dean had kind of awkwardly thrown the bag containing the pastry in Sam's direction at the time, not really knowing how to give it to him without turning the whole thing into some kind of chick-flick moment, and Sam had had this soft, happy smile on his face every time Dean glanced at him in the Impala the next day while he was driving…but still, Dean always felt like their connection was so different from all the relationships he saw between typical couples; it had always felt like what he and Sam had was on a whole other level.

Dean had kind of come up with one way of defining and explaining what they had between them, but he was still working his way up to sharing it with Sam, because he wasn't good at saying all the deep, emotional stuff out loud, and he knew that it would suck if Sam disagreed with his theory about what they were to each other.

Dean placed a gentle kiss to Sam's forehead in a silent apology for the reduced affection recently. He was getting a little more comfortable with these casual, affectionate gestures now, even though he still got embarrassed sometimes, and he could always tell that Sam liked them, too, but this time, Dean couldn't help thinking that he should do a little more to make it up to Sam. Maybe he should organise a weekend away somewhere, he decided, like when he'd taken Sam away for a second weekend at a cabin in the middle of nowhere about three months ago. Dean had made all his usual jokes about slumber parties the whole time they'd been at the cabin, just like last time, but the weekend had been awesome, and, if it was meant to be a 'slumber party', then it had been a pretty dirty one, with hardly any clothes involved.

Sam didn't seem to stay in 'angst-mode' for too long, however. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that he was still a little drunk, or the fact that the two of them had had fun tonight, or the fact that they didn't have the pressure of any new cases to solve just yet, but whatever it was, it wasn't long before Sam was smiling again as he lay on Dean's chest with his eyes closed.

Dean ran his hands gently up and down Sam's back a few times, and he could practically feel Sam's sighs of contentment.

"De," Sam muttered with a slight slur to his speech after a few seconds of comfortable silence, "tell me a story…"

Dean looked down at Sam with a grin. He couldn't help feeling nostalgic at Sam's words. Sam had always asked Dean to tell him stories when he was a kid, usually in various motel rooms before he drifted off to sleep, or during long nights on the road, and he thought it was pretty adorable that grown up Sam was asking for the same thing now.

Sam looked up at Dean with a hopeful expression on his face, and Dean figured out that Sam wasn't joking; maybe he'd just had a little too much to drink, but he really did want his big brother to tell him some kind of story, just like when they were kids.

"Once upon a time," Dean began with a smirk.

Sam used to like it when Dean read him fairy tales (although he'd always got embarrassed about saying this out loud to Dean), and so he'd got used to the whole 'once upon a time' and 'they all lived happily ever after' thing.

Still, Dean couldn't resist a little brotherly mockery in his drunken state: "Once upon a time," he repeated, "there was a little boy who was so excited to find out that he was gonna be a big brother to a baby brother, but then, it turned out that he got a baby sister instea-"

"Dean!" Sam snapped at him, looking up from Dean's chest to glare at his older brother, using one of his typical bitch-faces to full effect.

Dean rolled his eyes; he was sure that his comment would earn him some sort of lecture on gender stereotyping, as soon as Sam had sobered up and they were driving down their next long, open highway and Sam had some time to kill; Dean suspected this because he'd heard that same lecture several times before from his favourite college boy.

Sam continued to glare at him, and Dean figured that Sam's alcohol intake didn't mean that his brother was going to let him away with any of his typical mockery tonight.

"Okay, okay," said Dean with another grin as he held up his hands in a gesture of surrender, before Sam could start that lecture right now. "I'll tell ya a real story, Sammy…"

Sam aimed another warning look at Dean, but it wasn't long before he settled back down with his head on Dean's chest.

Sam had always been really picky about the kind of stories Dean told him. Sometimes, Dean had read Sam stories from storybooks, whenever he'd been able to get hold of actual books as they moved around from one town to the next, and at other times, he'd just made stories up to tell Sammy to help him settle into sleep, but either way, Sam had always expected a real story structure, with a good beginning, middle and ending.

"Once upon a time," Dean said again, trying not to smirk too much this time, "there was a hot, strong, charismatic… _sexy_ hunter-"

"It's you, isn't it?" Sam asked him with a long-suffering sigh, before the trademark Sam-Winchester-bitch-face made a reappearance.

"Doesn't matter, Sammy," Dean replied with a casual wave of his hand, ignoring Sam's glare. "Anyway," he continued, "one night, this hot hunter went to a bar to get drunk and to relax and unwind after a stressful hunt-"

"Is this a _real_ story, Dean?" Sam interrupted him again, using the bossy tone of voice that he used with Dean sometimes when they were bickering like an old married couple. Dean always joked that that tone of voice made Sam sound like a nagging wife, but secretly, he kind of liked it; it was reassuring; a reminder that Sam wasn't really annoyed or upset with him, and that they were okay. "Or are you just going to reminisce about one of your past hook-ups at a bar?" Sam asked him with a frown.

And there it was, that flash of jealousy in Sam's eyes at the idea of Dean hooking up with anyone else. Dean could only hope that Sam couldn't pick up on the heat in his own facial expression as Sam looked at him like that.

They still talked about some of their past hook-ups, sometimes, when they'd had a little too much to drink, or when they were trying to entertain each other during long hours on the road, but, with this new aspect to their relationship since their 'we time' at the hotel, they both knew that they had to tread very carefully with those kinds of stories now, and they really had to pick their moments to tell them.

Tonight, when Dean was still feeling awkward and embarrassed about recently admitting to his feelings of jealousy after Sam had got talking to a pretty blonde waitress one night a few months ago, and with Sam still feeling a little insecure after he'd freaked out over Dean's supposed flirting with one of their witnesses during a recent case, as well as Dean's alleged flirting with a bartender not long after that…yeah, Dean already knew that it really wasn't the right moment to talk about any past hook-ups.

"Listen to the story, Sammy!" Dean told him in his authoritative, older brother voice. "We're never gonna get to the ending if you keep interruptin'!"

Sam rolled his eyes, but he quickly settled back down on Dean's chest.

"As I was sayin'," Dean continued, "this attractive hunter went to a bar to get drunk; only this time, his nerdy younger brother was there with him, too…"

Sam rolled his eyes again, but he didn't say anything.

"And it was a pretty awesome night. The older brother hustled a couple of older guys in a game of poker, and he shared a few beers and a few laughs with his younger brother, before the two of them ended up stumbling back to their motel room…"

Dean could see Sam silently connecting the dots as he started to work out that Dean was talking about the night that the two of them had first accidentally cuddled; the night when their 'bedtime' had really got started, even though Dean had refused to face up to it at the time.

Dean took a couple deep breaths, trying to ignore the fact that his heart was starting to beat faster. He could do this; it was just him and Sam, in the Impala. Sam wasn't going to laugh at him or run out on him just for being honest about his feelings. They'd faced real issues between the two of them over the years, and Sam was still here with him, in spite of everything that had conspired against them.

Dean had been working his way up to this for a while; to sharing a few more of his thoughts on the bedtime thing he shared with Sam; he'd been planning on saying something on their next anniversary, but this moment right now seemed like perfect timing.

It was easier to tell the truth, anyway, when he was drunk and he could pretend that he was just telling his brother some random story about an unnamed hunter in the back seat of the Impala in the dark, where he didn't have to look Sam in the eye as he spoke. And, as embarrassing as this could turn out to be, he really felt like Sam deserved the truth; he deserved to hear Dean's side of the story.

"And…uh…somehow," said Dean, "the older brother ended up falling asleep in the same bed as his younger brother-"

"That had nothing to do with the fact that you drunkenly fell down on my bed before you fell asleep?" Sam asked him with a frown, although he looked like he was fighting off a smile.

"Details, details, Sammy," Dean said quickly, trying to brush that question off. "So…uh…" he continued, before he could get into an argument with Sam about the finer points of that night, "he fell asleep in the same bed as his brother-totally by accident-and…uh…maybe, in the middle of the night, the older brother might have woken up- _still drunk_ ," he insisted, feeling like it was very important to clarify that point, "and he might have noticed that the two of them had ended up moving closer together durin' the night, and that they were sleeping closer together than usual…and he might have just not said anythin', because, you know, he was drunk, and…maybe he just moved the covers over the two of them, and then he went back to sleep…"

He could definitely see Sam watching him intently now, as his mind connected even more embarrassing dots. So yeah, Sam hadn't known about that little extra detail. He could probably get really pissy about it, if he wanted to, because Dean had been the one to really freak out about the whole cuddling thing the next morning, as though it had all been totally Sam's fault, when really, if they were getting technical about it, it had kind of been Dean's fault, but Sam didn't seem to be in a rush to say anything.

"Anyway," Dean continued, before Sam could either get really irritated or really sappy about what he'd just heard, "the next morning, when the older brother was sober again, he was kind of horrified about what had happened-he still had his manly pride to consider, you see…" (That comment earned him another eye roll from Sam.) "And, uh, although he maybe didn't hate it as much as he'd made out, he figured that he shouldn't get too used to the bed-sharin', 'cause there was always a chance that his brother might leave aga-"

"Dean, I'm _not_ leaving you," Sam muttered against Dean's chest, holding Dean a little tighter as he spoke. His tone of voice sounded firm, determined…defiant almost.

Dean tried for a fake expression of exasperation at Sam for interrupting his 'story', but he knew that he wasn't really doing much to hide his look of relief.

Sam had said stuff like this before; he'd found ways to say it over and over for the past few weeks, since that night when he'd taken care of Dean and he'd tried to offer him reassurance that he wasn't going to leave, but still, it was good to hear it again; he always liked to hear Sam say it out loud.

"And, uh, after that," Dean continued, trying to look serious again, "he thought that would be the end of it, but it turned out that the hunter's younger brother had other ideas…"

At those words, Sam lifted his head from Dean's chest to glare at him again. Dean really had to fight off a fond-looking grin as he took in the look on his brother's face.

"But…uh…maybe the whole sleeping-close-together thing wasn't totally the younger brother's fault," Dean admitted, looking away from Sam as an expression of curiosity crossed his brother's face. He wasn't sure if he could face looking right at Sam as he told the next part of this 'story'. "Like, maybe, not long after that first time, there was a time when they checked into a motel where there was only a room with a king-sized bed available, and the younger brother placed a pillow in the middle of the bed to make sure that the uh…cuddlin' didn't happen…" (Dean was still working on saying that word out loud without cringing or feeling really awkward.) "But…um…the older brother kind of moved that pillow out of the way later in the night when he was half asleep, and then he moved closer to his younger brother…"

Sam didn't have to say anything; Dean could see that he was putting two and two together again.

"And, uh…one night, not long after that," said Dean, deciding that he might as well just say all this stuff out loud now, because he'd already embarrassed himself anyway, "the two brothers were sitting on a couch in a motel room together, and the younger one started to fall asleep, and…it's possible…that the older brother might have pulled the younger brother closer to him, so that he ended up falling asleep practically on top of him…"

Dean could tell that Sam was remembering all this, going through his own memories of the early days of their bedtime thing, and working out now that Dean hadn't been as innocent in all this as he'd led Sam to believe at the time. But the look on Sam's face also kind of suggested that he wasn't totally surprised by all this; it was like he'd thought about this before, and he'd already begun to work it all out, and it was just starting to make more sense to him now.

"So, the older brother used to initiate it, sometimes?" Sam asked in a whisper, still looking like he was pretending to be serious, and trying not to smile.

"He still does, sometimes," Dean answered, his own voice barely more than a whisper now. With his heart still racing, he had to fight the instinct to just get up and run away for a little while, or to take frantic paces up and down the parking lot until he'd calmed down a little. He kept reminding himself that it was okay to share this stuff with Sam; that Sam wouldn't judge him for it.

He thought of all the times when he'd tried to be totally stealthy in the middle of the night, slowly and silently moving across double beds and positioning himself in Sam's arms as Sam slept, so that when they woke up, it always kind of looked like Sam had been the one to reach over and pull Dean into his arms in the night.

Judging by the look on Sam's face right now, Dean had a feeling that Sam already knew about this, too, or that he'd suspected it, at least. Sometimes, during those nights, Dean had kind of sensed that Sam wasn't fully asleep; he'd felt Sam's grip around his body tighten a little as Dean positioned his back against Sam's chest, and there were other times when he'd felt Sam nuzzling into his neck, the moment they were pressed up together.

Well, if Sam had been suspecting that Dean was moving across the bed and into his arms during the night, then he had confirmation now.

Dean turned away for a moment, his face almost pressed right up against the back seat. He would never say it directly out loud, but he…liked it, when Sam held him and he could nuzzle into Sam's neck or fall asleep with his head on Sam's chest, right above his heart, or when Sam would trace gentle patterns up and down his back as he held him. Right now, even the thought of it was making him blush.

The expression on Sam's face was way too soft when Dean took a chance on turning his head to look at him again, and Dean almost turned away all over again in his embarrassment.

"Dean," said Sam slowly, his tone of voice too gentle for Dean's strong hunter heart to deal with right now, "you know you don't have to sneak around to get me to hold you, right? You know you can just ask-"

"It's not that simple, Sam!" Dean snapped at him, instantly on the defensive. He hoped that Sam got it, that it wasn't so easy for Dean to just ask for something like that, what with his years of 'no chick-flick moments', and his need to always be the big brother; the one who held and protected and took care of Sam. It was still difficult for him, to do anything that might contradict or get in the way of that role, or to do _anything_ that might make him look weak.

Sam sighed in obvious exasperation, but he didn't push it.

Already, Dean could see him curling up a little, gripping the fabric of Dean's t-shirt like he used to do when he was a kid, making himself smaller, needy, vulnerable, so that Dean wouldn't freak out about being vulnerable himself.

They both knew how to play up to their big brother and little brother roles, when the moment called for it. Dean knew when Sam was playing up to it, like the times when he was trying to get Sam to take a nap, and Sam would always insist that he wasn't tired, so that Dean could put all of his efforts into taking care of Sam and persuading him to get some rest; or the times when there were only single beds in their rooms and Sam would always come up with his typical excuses about being too cold, or his bed being a little uncomfortable, or even that he didn't like the sound of the thunderstorm outside, during one of their more recent stays at a motel where there were only single beds available, so that Dean could go into protective older brother mode and they both would have a workable excuse for sharing beds without Dean having to ask for it.

It was like an unspoken agreement between them that Sam could play up to being the little brother when Dean needed it.

Dean ran his hands gently through Sam's hair in a silent apology for shutting down that part of the story. Maybe he could open up a discussion about it, sometime in the near future; maybe he could learn to ask Sam more directly to hold him, but he didn't feel ready just yet.

Sam smiled and let out a few contented sighs; he loved it, when Dean played with his hair.

Dean grinned in return. Maybe they both had their little bedtime secrets, he decided. There were times when he'd woken up in the night to find Sam watching him with a soft expression on his face, like he had some weird thing about watching Dean sleep. Or times when he'd been drifting off to sleep and he'd felt Sam's fingertips gently tracing patterns over his face, his hair, even his eyelashes, like he was indulging in the additional affection at times when he knew Dean was too tired to get really mad about it. Sometimes, Sam would even seem totally happy to just look right into Dean's eyes as they were both drifting off to sleep, close together in their shared beds.

" _Sam_!" Dean would always snap at his brother whenever he caught him doing this, trying to look and sound annoyed, while he desperately tried to fight off a blush, too.

"So, yeah," Dean continued with his story, so he wouldn't have to think too much about Sam gazing into his eyes at night before he fell asleep, "however it got started, it didn't take long for the big brother to work out that he really couldn't get to sleep without his little brother, even though it might have taken him a little while to admit it…"

Sam kept his eyes closed, but he gently tapped his left hand against Dean's chest a couple times; a silent acknowledgement and appreciation of Dean saying something that was pretty chick-flick worthy. He probably knew that Dean would get embarrassed and uncomfortable if Sam acknowledged out loud what Dean had just said.

"Then, after a little while," said Dean "this thing between them became more than just…cuddlin'," he said in a low voice, still feeling a little embarrassed. It had always been so easy, to talk about his past hook-ups in explicit detail, but this was different, because this was _Sam_.

Sam looked up at him again, apparently sensing Dean's hesitancy, and Dean could almost see the uncertainty, the insecurity written all over his face. It was like he was still scared somehow, that Dean had been uncertain about the whole more-than-brothers thing. Dean hadn't realised until now, that Sam had some hidden fears about Dean not being totally on board with it at the time.

"But that was okay," Dean said quickly. "It was good…awesome," he added with a grin, on seeing that Sam still looked a little worried. He ran his hands up and down Sam's back again, trying to offer reassurance. "Of course, it helped that the older of the two of them was totally hot," he couldn't help saying with a smirk, resorting to humour to try to restore some sort of manly pride, after everything he'd just confessed.

He let out a loud, unmanly, "Oomph!" as Sam elbowed him in the side in retaliation.

"Okay, okay," he said as he held up his hands, not wanting to get into a wrestling match in the back seat of the car; there wasn't enough space, and he wanted Sam to stay relaxed so he could get some sleep. "The younger one wasn't so bad, either."

Sam looked a little offended at being referred to by Dean as 'not so bad', but Dean winked at him, trying to let him know that he was just joking around. He kind of figured that Sam had to know already that Dean was just downplaying his hotness-Sam was built like some kind of Greek god, after all; he was all toned abs and defined muscles.

Dean had never been in any doubt of his own attractiveness, but as the years were passing, his muscles were becoming a little less defined, and his torso maybe wasn't as toned as it had once been; it seemed like his years of eating pie and junk food and drinking beers were finally catching up with him a little. Not that Sam ever complained; he kissed every part of Dean's body like Dean was the hottest guy he'd ever seen, and he seemed to like running his hands appreciatively over Dean's torso whenever he got the opportunity. So yeah, he secretly kind of hoped that Sam would agree that Dean was 'totally hot'.

"So," said Dean, "this new thing they had between them was good; it worked, and it seemed to make sense, even though the older hunter had never thought about being with a guy before…"

It was true, even though Sam seemed to struggle to believe this. Sam seemed to have this idea that Dean had always been attracted to certain guys, and lately, he'd started getting this weird paranoia that Dean had been interested in a couple of the guys they'd encountered.

Sure, Dean had always objectively been able to see when a guy was attractive, and sometimes he got a little flustered when men who he admired and looked up to paid him compliments, but he'd never seriously considered getting with a guy, until this bedtime thing had happened with Sam. Sam was the only guy who held his interest in that way.

Dean took a couple deep breaths as he got ready to say the next part of the story. He'd been trying to find a way to give some sort of explanation for what they had between them, but saying what he thought it was all about to Sam scared him more than any demon ever could.

"Must be some kinda weird soulmate thing, huh?" he asked Sam, trying way too hard to keep his voice relaxed and casual.

He could tell from Sam's reaction, with that intense expression back on his face, that he saw right through the casual act, and that he thought the same as Dean, about the soulmate thing; maybe he'd been thinking about it for a while.

A soft smile crossed Sam's face, and he nodded. "Yeah, it must be that," he agreed, as he held Dean a little tighter.

He looked pretty happy about what Dean had just said, and Dean could tell that Sam was going to smile like a chick during every car ride for at least a month as he remembered Dean's 'soulmate' line. Dean would make a big show of rolling his eyes and telling Sam to cut it out, but secretly, he would think that Sam's behaviour was pretty cute.

Resorting to humour to try to get out of another chick-flick moment, Dean couldn't help adding, "And now, the attractive hunter sometimes gets to experience all the fun of his jealous partner in all his glory…"

It was true, even though Dean wasn't sure that Sam would be very impressed with him for saying this.

He thought about a couple of Sam's recent outbursts of jealousy, like when they'd been interviewing witnesses for their last case, and Sam had convinced himself that Dean had been a little too friendly with one of the handsome male witnesses, who'd smiled at Dean every time he spoke.

Sam had been moody and sulky for the rest of the day, and then he'd pushed Dean right up against the motel room wall that night, lifting him off his feet so that Dean ended up wrapping his legs around Sam, and he'd practically growled against Dean's neck as he'd kissed Dean possessively, before he'd carried him over to the bed. And Dean had loved every minute of it.

A couple of nights later, they'd been pretty exhausted after their hunt, and after they'd got a little too drunk at a local bar, Sam had got irritated by the bartender's blatant flirting with Dean, and he'd ended up dragging Dean out of there before Dean could finish his last beer.

Sam had positioned himself on top of Dean in their shared bed that night, placing possessive kisses all over Dean's neck and torso, sometimes using his teeth to leave a mark.

"Mine," he'd said firmly against Dean's skin, between every kiss.

"Yeah, all yours, Sammy," Dean had mumbled without thinking about it as Sam had placed more kisses to his chest, too drunk to hide his smug smirk.

Sam had stopped then and looked up at Dean, his expression curious, like he was putting two and two together, as usual.

"Are you enjoying this?" Sam had asked him, his tone of voice full of suspicion.

 _Are you enjoying that I'm clearly tired and jealous, and mad at you and that bartender right now?_ had been the unspoken part of that question.

"No," Dean had answered a little too quickly, his answer sounding nowhere near convincing as he'd looked away from Sam.

He'd felt a little guilty, knowing that he enjoyed Sam's jealousy, especially as Sam really had looked kind of distressed. More than that, he'd felt embarrassed at the thought of admitting out loud that he enjoyed being at Sam's mercy. But from the way Sam had been looking at him in that moment of silence that followed Dean's not-so-truthful answer, it was like he could see the truth written all over Dean's face.

Sam had rolled his eyes, but his kisses had definitely been a lot softer and gentler after he'd returned his attention to Dean's bare chest, and he'd seemed to make a point of saying, "Mine," several times over, and Dean had figured that maybe Sam kind of liked that Dean liked it.

And yeah, maybe it was a little wrong, but Dean really enjoyed getting Sam riled up like that, so that he would get all grabby and possessive, which was hot in itself, but not only that-every time it happened, it also served as a comforting reminder that Sam was just as paranoid about Dean leaving him as he was about Sam leaving; a reminder that Sam was as deep into this as he was; a confirmation that maybe Sam was as far gone for him as he was for Sam.

And maybe this was the reason why Dean wasn't always in a rush to deny his apparent attraction to other guys to Sam.

Not to mention that he secretly liked those moments when Sam took control in the bedroom. Sure, Dean usually liked to be the one on top, the one who took control in the bedroom, the one who got them both undressed and cleaned them both up after it was over; it worked for them and their dynamic. But that wasn't to say that Dean didn't enjoy those times in between all that; the moments when Sam was the one to take control and Dean could just let go and enjoy it. It was kind of a guilty pleasure of his, even though he still wasn't totally comfortable with spelling that out to Sam.

Predictably, Sam looked a little irritated at Dean's comment about Sam's jealousy. "Dean," he snapped at him, "it's not funny! The thought of some guy taking my place...it...it drives me crazy…"

Dean wasn't sure if he should admit that he felt a little tingly as Sam said those words. It was clear that Sam didn't want anyone to take his place in Dean's life. Not that Dean was ever going to allow that to happen.

Dean's guilt and his protective instincts were definitely overriding his tingly feelings right now. Sam looked a little upset, and Dean needed to take care of him, to reassure him.

"Come on, Sammy," he muttered with a smirk, trying for the whole false casual thing again, "you know there's only one man for me…"

Dean had always been a man of action; he tried to show Sam through his gestures that Sam was the only one for him, like when he allowed Sam to be affectionate with him in public to show that there was something between them, or when he referred to Sam as his boyfriend sometimes in front of other people at bars and diners. But Sam had always been a man of words, and Dean felt like Sam needed this verbal communication that he was the only one for Dean, before he could allow himself to really believe it.

Sam seemed to relax a little at Dean's words, and then he started to smirk and blush. Yeah, apparently he'd really liked that line. Dean knew that he'd be rewarded for saying something like that, the next time they were taking each other's clothes off on a motel bed, and already the thought of it was getting him going.

"Jerk," Sam muttered with a smile as he settled back on Dean's chest.

"Bitch," Dean replied with a smile of his own.

Another comfortable silence passed between them.

Sam's breathing evened a little and he closed his eyes again. He looked really sleepy now.

Dean was also getting a little too tired to talk for much longer.

"Aren't you gonna say, 'and they all lived happily ever after'?" Sam muttered into Dean's chest. Apparently, Sam hadn't forgotten that this was how Dean used to end his bedtime stories.

"You're such a chick," Dean muttered with a mocking grin, before he placed a kiss to Sam's forehead.

Sam grinned in return, but he shrugged, like he was resigned to the fact that Dean wasn't going to say the whole 'happily ever after' thing.

Dean felt a little bad, but the truth was that he wasn't totally comfortable with putting any kind of promise out there that his and Sam's story could end with a happily ever after. With their lives spent on the road, taking on hunt after hunt, where there were always so many risks, and with God and the universe always seeming to conspire against them, there was no guarantee of anything in this life, and Dean didn't want to make any false promises to his brother. Sam was the one person who he'd always struggled to lie to.

So Dean couldn't promise a happily ever after, but he knew there was something else he could say to Sam instead to end this part of their story; something that was true…

"Love ya, Sammy," Dean whispered against Sam's hair.

Recently, he'd been working his way up to saying it, and he could feel his heart beating fast as he put his feelings into words.

Dean had always shown Sam that he loved him through certain gestures, like when he held him through the night, or when he went out in the morning to do the food and drinks run, bringing Sam breakfast in bed, or when he got Sam gifts to celebrate their anniversaries, or when he held his hand pointedly over Sam's heart, trying to get his message across.

But, for a little while, Dean had kind of sensed that Sam needed him to say something like that out loud; like he needed to really hear it.

And so Dean had been trying to find a time and a place to finally say it. And okay, maybe the way he'd said it hadn't been perfect; he could have said more, or said it differently, or been a little more romantic with it, but he'd get there, one day, and he hoped it was enough for Sam, for now, just to hear the word _love_ out loud.

As soon as he said the words, Sam seemed to freeze; it was like he was so shocked and surprised that his heart skipped a few beats.

Slowly, he opened his eyes and looked up at Dean, almost looking like he didn't dare believe it; like it was too good to be true.

Forcing himself not to look away, Dean looked Sam right in the eye, hoping that his facial expression said it all; that he meant it, and that this was real.

Then, the look that Sam gave Dean almost took Dean's breath away…it was a look of total adoration and devotion, like he was in awe of his big brother. It was the look of admiration that Sam had always given Dean when he was a kid; the look that Dean had thought he'd never see again after Sam became a moody teenager, and when he went away to Stanford. But now that look was back, making Dean feel all warm and tingly.

"De, I love you, too," said Sam as his eyes started to fill with tears. He said it so easily, like he'd been feeling this for so long. There was so much emotion behind his words, like he'd been wanting to say this out loud to Dean for a long time, but he'd also been waiting for the right moment, and hoping for Dean to say it, too.

Dean had thought he'd heard Sam say it to him before, sometimes, in whispered words in motel rooms late at night when they were both half asleep. But every time, Dean had convinced himself that he was only imagining it; hearing what he wanted to hear. Now, there was no denying that Sam had said it, and it was awesome.

Until Sam had said it out loud, Dean hadn't realised just how much he'd needed to hear it, too.

"No chick-flick moments," Dean couldn't help saying as an automatic response, although that didn't stop him from gently wiping away a single tear that had started to fall down Sam's cheek, before he ran a hand affectionately over Sam's face and through Sam's hair.

Dean might have had to blink rapidly a few times himself, feeling a little choked up, although he would later insist that there had just been something in his eye.

"Jerk," Sam muttered, his tone full of exasperation, but then he leaned up and placed a kiss to Dean's lips.

The kiss started off fast, but it quickly became more gentle, more tender; it was like Sam was trying to put all of his feelings for Dean into that kiss.

After that, Sam placed his hand over Dean's heart, and they stayed like that for a little while, their lips only inches apart as Dean put his hand on top of Sam's.

Sam ended up settling back on Dean's chest again, with his head right above Dean's heart.

Dean wrapped his arms and legs around Sam as Sam closed his eyes and started to fall asleep.

"Hey, Sammy," Dean whispered in the dark, "let's take a couple days off from hunting this weekend…"

"Yeah?" Sam asked him with a yawn.

"Yeah," Dean confirmed. "We could find a nice hotel to stay at again-some place not too far from here; have a little 'we time'. We could go to the beach again," he added, trying to talk quietly so that Sam would stay relaxed, "give each other massages…have a whole other happy endin'…"

Sam laughed and shook his head in an exaggerated gesture of exasperation at Dean's obvious innuendo.

"Yeah, I'd like that," he eventually whispered against Dean's chest, before he placed a kiss above Dean's heart.

Dean was about to joke around a little, call Sam a sap or something, but he realised that now wasn't the time for that.

Instead, he held Sam a little tighter as he whispered, "Bedtime?"

Sam smiled and nodded before he replied.

"Bedtime."


End file.
